As I have done every year since 2006 I am posting a blog entry that was written on World AIDS Day in 2005 by Christopher, a self-admitted London party boy. He wrote of his adventures in Everything is Not Real, a long-abandoned blog. When he wrote it the authorities had just begun to admit that this was a disease that was affecting the general population not just a marginalized section of society. Sadly 16 years later there are still people who, and places were, this is denied, ignored, or as it would seem like today in the mainstream media, forgotten.

December 1, 2005

I have lottery fantasies.

I dream about being able to buy fast cars and designer clothes until they come out of my ears. I want houses in London, New York, East Hampton and Rio. I want to be able to travel first class and work out at The Third Space and get reservations at Annabel’s just because of who I am. I want to be able to take hot dates on tours of the National Gallery. When it’s closed. Because I’m one of it’s biggest benefactors.

Needless to say, twice a week, I am disappointed.

aids-hivribbonThis morning, on the way to work on the tube, I was reading a Times article, written by Annie Lennox, about the millions and millions of people in Africa who are suffering with HIV and AIDS, and dying, and how the governments of the richer nations, such as the one I live in, have pledged support over an eight year period. And how they absolutely must stay committed to this goal.

One of the kids she spoke to on a recent trip to Africa was dying of AIDS. But before he got sick he lost his mother, father, brothers, sisters and pretty much everyone else he cared about to the same disease. He was totally alone in the world. With no hope. And certainly no dreams of fast cars or a nice comfortable house, anywhere. And that shit isn’t even near the important stuff.

There are approximately 6,450,000,000 humans on Earth.

Most of them are not 33 year olds who have careers which afford them access to guest lists to the best clubs and bars the city has to offer. They don’t have friends who will stick with them no matter what (and slip them Jil Sander dress shirts every now and then). They don’t have housemates who have Thai cuisine prepared and ready to eat when they arrive home. They don’t have comfortable beds to sleep in at night.


When I think about it I kinda did win the lottery.

Christopher – Everything Is Not Real


As always this is in loving memory of those lost: Gary, Brian, Lawrence, Doug, Bill, Andrew, Pierre, Jim, Don, Billy and so many others. And for those who may have lost the lottery but continue to fight the battle with our help, love and hope.

The Journey continues …

Well the first phase of the journey is over: yesterday was the 33rd and final radiation treatment. I apologize for not posting sooner but the last three treatments were perhaps the most difficult and all I have wanted to do is sleep.

The wonderful radiation team watched and cheered me on as I, with Laurent beside me, rang that bell to celebrate my final treatment. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to upload the video but here are two photos:

The mask that I wore for each treatment. It basically immobilize my head and held the reference points for the radiation.

All set to ring that bell with Laurent at my side as he’s been for the past 44 years.

Time to regroup and see what I can do about gaining some weight. It may be a bit before I post another update but once again thank you for your love, thoughts, prayers, and support.

The Journey Continues …

I’ve just completed day 30 of my return to good health which means only three more radiation sessions left. The last one will be on Monday the 21st. The effects of the radiation will continue for as long as 2 weeks. I was told today that the sessions were the most intensive they give. I can believe it.

After that comes the waiting game. The effects of the radiation will continue for as long as 2 weeks. It will be up to 12 weeks before a CATSCAN will determine what the outcome is. It’s going to be a long wait. In the meantime I have to try and make up for the weight I have lost which will be a major challenge.

Thank you for your thoughts, prayers, messages of love and support. That and the incredible dedication of Laurent during all of this have kept me going. It has been as much a struggle for him as for me.

The word for November 16th is:
Hope hōp: [1. noun 2. verb]
1.1 The feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.
1.2 A particular instance of this feeling.
2.1 To look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.
2.2 To believe, desire, or trust.
Middle English hopen, from Old English hopian.

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