I Said to My Boyfriend Ernie…..

I remember Bette Midler telling Sophie Tucker jokes in one of her first shows – Clams on the Half-Shell. I borrowed them real quick. They became staples on dreary Saturday nights around the ticket counter at Ottawa Airport. No matter how often I told them I knew the gang would explode in raucous laughter.

The all-time favorite on the OIA hit parade (told with appropriate holy roller gestures):

Soph and her boyfriend Ernie were listening to the Reverend Mr. Jones on the radio one night.

“I want you, I want you, if you believe in the healing power of the Reverend Mr. Jones, to put one hand on the part of the body that ails you. And the other hand on the radio and we will pray, we will pray for God’s healing power!” hallelujahed the Reverend.

Soph was in a romantic mood so she put one hand on her heart and the other on the radio.

Ernie was a little more pragmatic, he placed one hand on his crotch the other hand on the radio.

Soph looked at him in dismay and said, “Ernie we are praying for healing of the sick, not resurrection of the dead!”

And we can blame tater for starting all this!

Grumpy Old Folks – I

Ferd'nand

So apparently this young pup of a grad student and some la-di-da physc prof are going around saying that us old folks lose our sense of humour as we get older. And they’re basing this on reactions to, of all things, Ferd’nand cartoons!

Ferd’nand cartoons? Hell I didn’t find them funny when I was 25 why would I find them funny at 60? And don’t these guys read something other than the funny pages? Don’t they read about the death and destruction everywhere? Global warming? Corporate corruption? Government irresponsibility? Don’t they read Mary Worth? What the hell is there to laugh at?

And when it comes to a joke, hey I can still tell one with the best of them. Did you hear the one about the travelling farmer and the salesman’s daughter?

I’ve Come All Over Queer!*

*Sorry just a bit of inside humour for people who remember Kenneth Williams’ of Carry On and Julian & Sandy fame at moments of high emotion – his delivery of that line in that whiny, nasal voice with appropriate hand and wrist gestures always broke me up.

But seriously I was honoured when one of the most intriguing bloggers around nominated me for the “Thinking Blogger Award.”

Tater is one of the finest writers in blogdom and as our friend at I Need More Cowbell (who was also nominated) remarked “his writings pull me in to another place or time.” I just wish he’d post more often but know damn well that when he does it will knock my socks off.

I not sure how thoughtful or thought-provoking my blog is when I compare it to people like (and this is just a partial list) Lynette, Joe, Eric, Cowbell or Tater himself, but thanks for the recognition Tater. And I really did “come all over queer!”

I know one of the rules is to pass the award on to others you feel are deserving but looking at Eric, Tater, and Cowbells’ lists I’m at a loss as who to add. From their lists I’ve added three or four other fascinating blogs to my daily check list.

Video – Women In Films

Once again Eggman913 has worked his video magic. Some of the images fly by so quickly I found I was thinking: Oh that’s…. what’s-her-name…. was in….. Of course it may have more to do with my fading memory than video speed.

What’s that line from Sunset Boulevard (the movie not the Andrew Lloyd Webber crap?)

We had faces!

They sure as hell did!

ADDENDUM: Did I just miss it or is Bette Davis missing from this montage? (July 7, 2007)
ADDENDOM TO THE ADDENDUM: Red7Eric tells me that Miss Davis is indeed there – in her blond days. (July 9, 2007)

Mom! It’s Not Fair!

My blogger buddies BigAssBelleand Red7Eric both got NC17 and I only got a PG – its not fair!

Online Dating

It appears my use of the words: “ass,” “gay” and “hell” make me unsuitable for tots to view unless mom and dad approve of that sort of thing.

Maybe I should be running the voice over they put on before Law and Order SVU or Family Guy in the early evening:

Parts of this programme may be unsuitable for younger audiences. Parental Discretion is Advised.